Celebrity Oops

Paris Hilton and her Hottie and the Nottie co-star Christine Lakin at Katsuya (1/30)

+ Mandy Moore has an addiction [Just Jared]

+ Sophie Monk Keeping in Shape for Me [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Mariah Carey Shows Off Her “Jewels” [Egotastic!]
+ Does this bitch ever stop complaining? [F-Listed]
+ Reason #349 Jessica Simpson is retarded [ICYDK]

+ Star Trek . . . orgasms [Horny Oyster]
+ Janet Jackson discovered the fountain of youth [Bossip]
+ OMG it’s Michael Jackson’s kids’ faces! [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]
+ I want a stripper cake for my birthday [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

Heath Ledger had a big time drug problem

The elephant in the room that most of the media seems to be glossing over is that Heath Ledger had a big time problem with drugs. Entertainment Tonight killed a video they reportedly bought for $200k that showed Ledger snorting coke at the Chateau Marmont in 2006. A member of Ledger’s entourage told the New York Post that cocaine and heroine broke up the star’s marriage to Michelle Williams:

“[Michelle] couldn’t take it any more. Heath wouldn’t show up for two to three days, and all of a sudden he would show up on her doorstep, an absolute wreck. He was partying, doing drugs. She didn’t like the company he was keeping. She gave him an ultimatum. . . . and threatened to get custody of [their daughter Matilda]. He wanted to make it work, but it was this scene he was wrapped up in. Was he an addict? Yeah. He was hanging out with a bad crowd. He wasn’t cleaning up his act. He was making absolutely no effort . . . He was really into heroin. He wasn’t sleeping or communicating with anyone.” (Source)

I can’t really blame Heath. Coke and heroine are an absolute bitch. Drove me out of competitive scrapbooking. To tell you the truth I don’t miss it . . . except for Nationals. God what a thrill.

Justin Chambers aka Dr. Alex Karev on Grey’s Anatomy

Britney Spears isn’t the only star going crazy. Grey’s Anatomy actor Justin Chamber checked himself in to the psych ward at the UCLA Medical Center on Monday. He checked out yesterday just before Britney Spears was admitted. Chambers’ rep told TMZ:

“[Chambers was] exhausted and suffers from a sleeping disorder. He went in voluntarily to get some help.” (Source)

Talk about dodging the proverbial bullet. Can you imagine checking yourself into the psych ward for a sleeping disorder and then Britney Spears shows up. Not only would you not get any rest but there’s a damn good chance your suitcase would go missing. “Britney gonna build herself the bestest suitcase fort ever!”

Avril Lavigne in Miami (1/31)

Uh oh, the Hot Topic people are gonna be pissed when they see Avril’s buying her bikinis from other stores.

Britney driving in L.A. yesterday

Britney Spears’ visit to the UCLA Medical Center is going about as well as you’d expect. Aside from hurling profanities at staff, Britney’s accused her mom Lynne of “sleeping with my boyfriend” and “stealing moonshine from ma still out back.” Well maybe not that part about the still but she did accuse her mom of sleeping with her boyfriend. On a completely unrelated note, TMZ adds:

Our sources say Britney said she was on Adderall, a stimulant used to treat Attention Deficit Disorder, and was taking up to ten laxatives a day. Side note — cameras caught Spears a few days ago picking up a bagful of laxatives. (Source)

There’s a joke somewhere in there about Britney being full of shit but I’m not going there. One fecal-themed joke a day is my limit thank you very much. BTW, is there a more disturbing phrase in the English language than “bagful of laxatives”? I may not be able to masturbate for hours after reading that.

Slut, Slut, Slut

Holly Madison , Bridget Marquardt and Kendra Wilkinson (aka “The Girls Next Door”) attending LMG Studios’ grand opening in Beverly Hills, California. (1/30)

I never said Britney looked good without underwear. Come to think of it, I’ve never said Britney looked good anyway.

I never said Britney looked good without underwear. Come to think of it, I’ve never said Britney looked good anyway.

Ellen Pompeo outside her home in L.A. (1/30)

If Ellen Pompeo was even remotely attractive, these pics would be awesome. But she’s not unfortunately. I’ve seen nicer boobs at an AARP meeting. To be fair to Ellen I so sorta have a thing for old chicks. They’re so damn hot — and full of great stories too . . . “Tell me more about the crash of ‘29 you sexy little minx.” Gets me every time.

NOTE: CLICK HERE for the semi-NSFW pics

Paris Hilton and Elisha Cuthbert (2005)

Is there any doubt at this point in her life that Paris Hilton is bisexual? The socialite was “all over” her friend Elisha Cuthbert Tuesday night at Tenjune in New York City. A source told Us Weekly:

“It’s Paris. She loves putting on a show.” Earlier in the evening, Hilton attended the BlackBerry Pink Pearl Launch Party. “She was actually super well behaved and even took the time to take some photos with the BlackBerry executives.” (Source)

Is there anyone in Hollywood Paris Hilton hasn’t hooked up with yet? She’s like a walking kissing booth only instead of paying a dollar for a peck on the cheek you pay eight dollars to get her another rum and coke and then you get blown. So I guess not like a kissing booth at all. But you still get the point, right, that Paris has had more dudes inside her than the locker rooms at the Rose Bowl.

Ambulance One on the way to the hospital (1/31)

Police used code words last night at Britney Spears’ house, referring to the troubled star as “the Package”. While Britney was being taken to the hospital, police radios chattered with the message “the Package is on the way.” Code words. Not the President. Britney Spears. All that was missing were snipers lining the route to the hospital and men in suits running alongside the ambulance.

Britney Spears was taken from her home early this morning in an ambulance.

The drama began when an ambulance and a brigade of motorcycle cops escorted Spears to UCLA Medical Center where she was placed on a 5150 hold. A 5150 hold indicates that she may be a danger to herself or others.

“She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong,” according to Sam Lutfi.

Britney Spears was taken from her home early this morning in an ambulance.

The drama began when an ambulance and a brigade of motorcycle cops escorted Spears to UCLA Medical Center where she was placed on a 5150 hold. A 5150 hold indicates that she may be a danger to herself or others.

“She went willingly. It was like something in her heart was telling her she should go. She knew something was wrong,” according to Sam Lutfi.

Matthew McConaughey has never worn deodorant

On the set of their latest film Fool’s Good, Kate Hudson begged Matthew McConaughey to wear deodorant but the star refused. McConaughey told Contact Music:

“[Kate] always brings a salt rock, which is some natural deodorant, and says, ‘Would you please put this on?’ I just never wore it. No cologne, no deodorant. The women in my life, including my mother, have all said, ‘Hey, your natural smell smells, one, like a man, and, two, smells like you’ . . . I take a few [showers] a day.” (Source)

I never knew Matthew McConaughey was French! And here I had fooled myself into thinking that hygiene, talent, and brains were important to women for some reason. I guess I must be doing something wrong since he’s the one dating the hot swimsuit model and I’m not (mom won’t let me date yet). Oh and here’s a newsflash for you Matt: It’s not the “natural smell” of your body that women like, it’s the “natural smell” of those $20 bills in your wallet.

PICS: Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson at the premiere of Fool’s Gold in L.A. (1/30)

Paris Hilton and actress Elisha Cuthbert were caught making out at a club.

According to a source, the two were “all over each other and making out” at New York’s Tenjune club.

“It’s Paris. She loves putting on a show.”

Just a few days ago, Paris was caught on leaving a lesbian club with some chick.

Photo source

Paris Hilton and actress Elisha Cuthbert were caught making out at a club.

According to a source, the two were “all over each other and making out” at New York’s Tenjune club.

“It’s Paris. She loves putting on a show.”

Just a few days ago, Paris was caught on leaving a lesbian club with some chick.

Photo source

Scientologist Nancy Cartwright – who is the voice of Bart Simpson — donated $10 million to the Church of Scientology last year.

The donation is about twice her annual salary.  It is also twice as much as nutjob Tom Cruise forked over.
Ay caramba!
Here’s a list of the cult’s most prominent donors:

Nancy Cartwright, 50, Patron Laureate Award: $10 million
Tom Cruise, 46, Diamond Meritorious: $5 million
Kirstie Alley, 57, Diamond Meritorious Award: $5 million
John Travolta, 53, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million
Kelly Preston, 45, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million
Priscilla Presley, 62, Patron Award: $50,000

Scientologist Nancy Cartwright – who is the voice of Bart Simpson — donated $10 million to the Church of Scientology last year.

The donation is about twice her annual salary.  It is also twice as much as nutjob Tom Cruise forked over.
Ay caramba!
Here’s a list of the cult’s most prominent donors:

Nancy Cartwright, 50, Patron Laureate Award: $10 million
Tom Cruise, 46, Diamond Meritorious: $5 million
Kirstie Alley, 57, Diamond Meritorious Award: $5 million
John Travolta, 53, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million
Kelly Preston, 45, Gold Meritorious Award: $1 million
Priscilla Presley, 62, Patron Award: $50,000

Spears being taken to the hospital earlier this morning

Britney Spears has been committed again. The decision was made by Britney’s psychiatrist, who had visited her early yesterday evening. Alarmed at her behavior, the psychiatrist called police to have Britney hospitalized on another 5150 hold (the same thing she was held on at Cedars Sinai a few weeks ago). Around 1 AM an ambulance transported a “unusually calm” Spears to the UCLA Medical Center (Check out the video on PAGE 2). TMZ says:

Britney’s psychiatrist told her she was going to the hospital. Her response was, “Is something wrong?” She was not resistant. She made hot chocolate and waited before paramedics arrived and placed her on a gurney. We’re told the psychiatrist felt her condition had deteriorated. Britney had not slept since Saturday — a day and half longer than she stayed up in recent memory. (Source)

Holy shit she hasn’t slept since Saturday. No wonder she’s so damn crazy. The last time I went even a night without sleep, I started to paint the walls with my own fecal matter. I also watched an entire episode of The View. Crazy stuff. There’s rumors Britney tried to commit suicide but those appear to be false. I don’t think Britney even knows how to kill herself. She’d probably try to hold her breath.

NOTE: Dr. Phil was unavailable for comment . . . because it’s hard to give a comment with cake in your mouth

CLICK HERE for video of Britney being committed on PAGE 2

Jessica Alba and Cash Warren at LAX (1/30)

+ Hate it. My grandma dresses sexier [I’m Not Obsessed]

+ Ethan Hawke knocked up his girlfriend [Dlisted]
+ Christina Aguilera wearing a see through shirt? Sure! [College Humor]
+ Miley Cyrus has an illegitimate baby [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Lake Bell: Over Her Perfect Body [Egotastic!]

+ Jessica Simpson Keeps Tormenting Dallas Fans [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Maria Menounos is a 92 octane kind of girl [Bastardly]
+ How gay is Top Gun? [CityRag]
+ Christina Ricci’s boobs once attacked by monkeys [Cele|bitchy]

+ Heath Ledger’s wife once tried to force him into rehab [A Socialite’s Life]
+ I. Am. Shitty! [Pajiba]
+ Britney Spears exposes her boobs yet again [The Blemish]
+ Lingerie bowl canceled [Derek Hail]

Azusa Yamamoto

Japanese model Azusa Yamamoto

CLICK HERE for 24 more pics of Azusa Yamamoto on PAGE 2

Rihanna at LAX (1/30)

+ Lake Bell is Not Kristen Bell or Catherine Bell but Dresses Like a Bell [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Can watching Meet the Spartans make you dumber? [Maxim]
+ More Avril Lavigne Bikini Pictures! [Egotastic!]
+ Rihanna got some milk [Just Jared]
+ J.Lo has already picked out baby names? [Lossip]

+ Britney’s unleashes her British accent again! [ICYDK]
+ Top 10 Worst Weekends in Box Office History [Attuworld]
+ Used to be? [Cele|bitchy]
+ About as close to dying that you can get [Horny Oyster]

Nicky and Paris Hilton leaving Villa Lounge in L.A. (1/25)

Is that . . is that a vagina on Nicky Hilton’s dress? Holy shit I think it is. If you squint your eyes and imagine that thing three times as gaping, it almost looks like a naked Paris Hilton.

Britney Spears and her mom Lynne in Beverly Hills (6/2004)

While it was reported that Britney Spears is on speaking terms again with her mom Lynne, they’re not exactly getting along. The two have been arguing the entire time Lynne has been in town this week (for a possible intervention?). A witness told People magazine about Britney and Lynne’s bonding session at a Beverly Hills Mercedes Benz dealership Tuesday morning:

“Lynne and Britney were arguing in the car the whole time. They’re both upset and arguing, not having a good time at all. After [Britney left the dealership], she pulled over to the side of the road to argue with her mom more.” (Source)

There’s almost as much dysfunction in this family as there is in Bob Dole’s right arm! After all that arguing with her mom, I wonder if Britney had her new car customized with a front passenger ejection seat . . . to go along with the rear toddler ones. Lastly, I hope the sales guy at the dealership got an extra commission seeing as how he probably had to negotiate with each of Britney’s personalities. “British Britney wants to know how many bags of tater chips she can fit in the boot.”