Celebrity Oops

Now, this photo SCREAMS Photoshop but what the hell… Jessica Alba nipples are hard to find so a little imagination can’t hurt. At least the photoshop guy copied some hard nipples…

These celebrities were born on August 30:

Cameron Diaz is 36.
Lisa Ling is 35.
Andy Roddick is 26.
Paul Oakenfold is 45.
Kitty Wells is 89.
Peggy Lipton is 61.
Frederique CVan Der Wal is 41.

NOTE: Click on any thumbnail for the associated post

Sienna Miller flipping off paparazzi in London (8/29)

+ Lo from The Hills is drunk, see through [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Mena Suvari Nude Sex Scene from Stuck [Egotastic!]
+ Michael Phelps went to Disney World [Just Jared]
+ Kim K. wants to get rid of her fat ass [F-Listed]
+ Kevin Spacey is totally gay [The Blemish]

+ And the hottest reality star is . . . [Attuworld]
+ Michael Jackson turns the big 5-0 [Cele|bitchy]
+ Louise Glover shoots pool . . . topless [Horny Oyster]
+ Lindsay Lohan’s uncle jailed [ICYDK]

[WENN, BauerGriffinOnline]

Molly Sims has a nice house

Molly Sims’ house in the Hollywood. If you like it, it’s listed $2.99 million. (11 more pics on PAGE 2)

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

CLICK HERE to jump to 11 more Molly Sims house pics on PAGE 2

Lindsay and her dad during better times

I love celebrity family feuds. Michael Lohan responded late yesterday to his daughter Lindsay’s response about him criticizing her leech girlfriend Samantha Ronson. In an interview with E! on Wednesday, Michael claimed Samantha is “using” Lindsay and planning to writing a tell-all book. Both Sam and Lindsay took their repsective MySpace pages to blast Michael yesterday. Here’s his response to their response:

“Who’s out of control? Whose life is out of control? Give me a break. Going from place to place, being dragged around by Samantha so she can make more money off of Lindsay being there when she spins … She’s gone from making $7 million to less than a million a movie. Who’s out of control? I go to church. I go and help people in rehab. That’s control. How can she say I’m out of control?”

“I want Lindsay to be in a good place. When I started looking at what Samantha was doing, dragging Lindsay to clubs, drinking around Lindsay … Samantha is one of the biggest problems in her life. That’s what Dina told me. I’m reacting on what Dina said, but then Dina steps out of the picture because she wants to look like the good guy. Dina’s a two-face. She wants to try to look good and stay on Lindsay’s good side instead of being a good parent. I don’t give two hoots about my relationship with Lindsay as a friend. One day she’s going to turn around to me and tell me, ‘Daddy, you were right.’” (Source)

Something tells me Michael’s not getting that house, car, boat, timeshare, country club membership, motorcycle, 2-week-vacation to Hawaii, RV, diamond watch, and big-screen TV he asked Lindsay to get him for Christmas.

Heidi Klum

Heidi Klum leaving Bristol Farms grocery store in West Hollywood (8/28)

[WENN]

Mischa Barton bikini pics!

Mischa Barton in St. Tropez, France (6/2005)

NOTE: 18 more Mischa Barton bikini pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)

CLICK HERE to jump to 18 more Mischa Barton bikini pics on PAGE 2

It’s official.

John McCain has chosen Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his Vice Presidential running-mate.

So this means that whether Obama becomes President or John McCain: History will be broken. Holy shit, this year is breaking records. Unemployment rates are at it’s high, House Pricing is at its low, Michael Phelps and the Olympics…now Politics.

2008: Historical.

Ashlee Simpson gained too much weight

Ashlee Simpson was left devastated after a recent doctor’s appointment when she was told she’s gained too much weight during her pregnancy. The singer’s been stocking up on size zero jeans to help motivate her to lose the baby weight after she gives birth. A source told Star:

“Ashlee broke down in tears at a doctor’s appointment in early August when she found out she’s gained more weight than is considered in the healthy range . . . She can’t wear [the jeans] now, but she hopes it will give her the incentive to watch what she eats.” (Source)

There’s only one diet secret guaranteed to help Ashlee immediately lose her unwanted pounds. It’s as effective as it is painful. Of course I’m talking about an “accidental” fall down the stairs. Recommended by 9 out of 10 dentists!

Naomi Campbell’s boyfriend buys her multi-million dollar condo

Who’d have thunk it but it pays to date a billionaire. Naomi Campbell’s boyfriend, Russian billionaire Vladimir Doronin, just bought her an $18.5 million penthouse apartment in Sao Paolo, Brazil. From the New York Post:

The two were just in her favorite country, Brazil, where [Doronin] dropped a cool $18.5 million on a penthouse apartment for Campbell in Jardins, the Upper East Side of Sao Paolo, after Campbell told him how much she loved the country and “wanted to settle down there.” Glamurama.com says the place was a “gift” to the supermodel and the couple will use it as their home in Brazil. Then they traveled to Bahia, where they stayed in a $50,000-a-day beach house. (Source)

Let this be a lesson to all of you young girls out there: it doesn’t matter if you smoke crack, never finish school, or throw temper tantrums — as long as you’re a supermodel, you’ll get everything you want in life. So stop “doing your homework,” saying “no to drugs,” and “treating people as you would like to be treated.” If you really want to be happy, just learn how to evenly apply your L’Oreal Liquid Foundation and lip moisturizer.

[BauerGriffinOnline, Flynet]

Solange is annoyin’ my eyes with her bullshit clothing style and bullshit smile.

Who the eff put this outfit together? Is she trying to be different from Beyonce? If so, she’s doing an amazing job.  She’s even seperated herself from all other humans! Congratulations, you think you’re different Solange.

You think your voice is incredibly unique so this must obviously give you the authority to dress like a effin 5 year old…wait no, I don’t want to offend any five-yr-olds. You dress like a cheap ghetto queen.  Maybe it’s because you are one. Dont lie, you know the only thing that’s holding your career up is your association with Jay-Z, and Beyonce, bitch!

NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

(more…)

Do people really flippin’ look like this?

Don’t get me wrong, I love these hoes because I get to make fun of them. So this is Jodie Marsh.  I didn’t care for her ever but seriously…what a horrid little piece of work.  If prostitutes were clowns, I think this is what they would look like.

I think her eyebrows were painted with the oil dripping from her eyelashes. And that hair….somewhere in the world, a little girl has found her Barbie Dolls bald. The hair of those dolls are now on Jodie Marsh’s scalp. Absolutely disgusting.

Eventually, Britney Spears will look like this in the year 2020.

Did YOU see Obama’s acceptance speech last night? I did.

I thought it was inspiring and moving. For anyone who missed it…what were you thinking?

Obama made history, and you missed it. If you think that politics is unimportant, you’re a fool and shouldn’t be living in this country. If you’re a citizen, you should be following these campaigns closely because you’re going to vote. Don’t be ignorant and think your vote won’t count. Get out there, educate yourself on the issues and vote for who YOU think would make a good president.

Sheesh! Well back to Obama- his speech was powerful and I thought his attacks on McCain were superb. We can only wait for the Republican Convention next week to see what McCain will say.

Oh and there are rumors that when introducing McCain’s biography, they have no pictures or footage of him- because camera’s still hadn’t been invented yet! Ha ha!

“I’d rather be inside you.”

David Duchovny can’t get enough. The actor has entered rehab to treat his addiction to sex. Duchovny has been wearing out the vagina of actress Téa Leoni since they were married in 1997. In a statement released through his lawyer, Duchovny said:

“I have voluntarily entered a facility for the treatment of sex addiction. I ask for respect and privacy for my wife and children as we deal with this situation as a family.” (Source)

Sure this seems funny — let’s everyone laugh at the guy addicted to sex — but addiction is no laughing matter. A few years ago I overcame a pretty severe addiction to justice. I couldn’t go two days without jumping some random biker gang up to no good. Luckily I got help and am proud to say I haven’t killed someone with my hands in 689 days.

When you google shit, this picture of Ali Lohan should be coming up.

That girl looks so damn ugly.  I didn’t even recognize her for a couple of seconds, the fuglyness was messing with my memory. She can’t sing, act, dance, talk…she’s only famous because her sister Lindsay was awesome back in the day.

Here is a fun quote: “The reality show that I am doing with my famiily is a great way to show that we are actually a normal family and not some freaks the tabloids make us out to be.”

Hm, I think your family resembles goblins. Greedy ass mofos who are all ugly as f***. And your reality show is shit. It just confirms how awful you Lohans are. But the real issue is:  whose the dumb bitch that put Ali on the cover?

Fire that f***er.

These celebrities were born on August 29:

Michael Jackson is 50.
Joe Schumacher is 69.
Eliot GOuld is 70.
Meshell Ndegeocello is 40.
Carla Gugino is 37.
Robin Leach is 67.

John Mayer finally breaks down

Ever since John Mayer broke it off with Jennifer Aniston a few weeks ago, paparazzi have shunned him. John’s done his best to set up “candid” shots but the paps simply don’t care. A paparazzo told MSNBC:

“He thinks he’s famous as Jen now. Last week he went to a party, tipped off the paps, and even had decoy cars at the ready when he was leaving. Nice, but no one bothered to follow them, which made John think he ‘lost’ everyone, when really no one bothered to follow him . . . Pictures of him and Jen were selling for $20,000 at one point. A picture of him alone gets $200 now. Chasing him from his apartment to Nobu is hardly worth it.” (Source)

A picture of him alone is only worth $200? What a bargain! I pay more than than that for pictures of my neighbor sleeping in that cute little red negligee she wears on Thursday nights when I’ve disconnected her air conditioning again I have taken at Sears. Besides, desperate Hollywood has-been over the age of 35 shouldn’t command more money on the paparazzi circuit . . . they should be put to sleep.

[WENN, BauerGriffinOnline]

Vanessa Minnillo at LAX Airport (8/28)

+ Miranda Kerr isn’t that hot [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Jessica Simpson needs a wardrobe change [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Sarah Shahi is freaking hot [Bastardly]
+ Katy Perry’s Breasts Get Plastered [Egotastic!]
+ Emmy Rossum is leggy [Popoholic]
+ This guy is such a douche [I’m Not Obsessed]

+ Now that is one fat pussy [Dlisted]
+ Old school Britney Spears sideboob + bonus hickey! [College Humor]
+ That chick Clooney dumped cheated on him [A Socialite’s Life]
+ Latin America has some smoking-hot TV hosts [Lossip]

+ Jennifer Love Hewitt still fat as ever [Yeeeah!]
+ Mariah Carey speaks in tongues [CityRag]
+ Best and worst celebrity beach bodies [popbytes]
+ American Idol dude owes $200k in back taxes [Gabby Babble]

[BauerGriffinOnline]

“Can you get up for a second? I think you’re sitting on my wife.”

Can you beat my caption?

Winner, decided by me and posted next week, to receive $10 Amazon.com gift code (will be emailed).

[WENN]

Mikie Hara

Japanese model Mikie Hara

CLICK HERE to jump to 24 more Mikie Hara pics on PAGE 2

Eva Mendes at a press conference launching “30 Days of Fashion and Beauty” at the Park Hyatt Hotel in Sydney, Australia (8/27)

+ Them’s fightin’ words [Just Jared]

+ Jessica Biel takes a lesbian power hike [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Keeley Hazell Topless Pictures Go For Gold [Egotastic!]
+ I’m seriously in love with Sofia Vergara [F-Listed]
+ Luke Perry still jobless [ICYDK]

+ Hilary Duff struts her stuff [Popoholic]
+ More pics of Jodie Marsh and her slutty outfit [Horny Oyster]
+ Michael Jackson looks like weights under 100 pounds [Bossip]
+ Chick who used to be famous busted for drugs at LAX [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

[WENN, Pacific Coast News]