Celebrity Oops

*Click the pic for the larger version

10. Janice Dickinson

9. Ray Liotta

8. Mickey Rourke

7. Lara Flynn Boyle

6. Donatella Versace

CLICK HERE to check out the TOP 5 after the jump

Paris Hilton at Heathrow airport in London (10/30)

+ Kim Kardashian dresses up as big-assed Wonder Woman [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Keeley Hazell’s Topless Witch is the Best. Halloween Costume. Ever. [Egotastic!]
+ Lauren Conrad’s boobs don’t look like that [Just Jared]
+ Kate Moss is see through (semi-NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]
+ You know Halloween has to be Shauna Sand’s favorite time of the year [The Blemish]

+ The hottest photo of Marisa Miller ever taken [Holy Taco]
+ Heidi Klum in lingerie. Need I say more? [Attuworld]
+ Kayleigh Pearson is your afternoon pick-me-up [F-Listed]
+ Madonna and A-Rod have a secret tryst at Jerry Seinfeld’s place in the Hamptons [Cele|bitchy]

[Flynet]

Hanson is number one

Remember Hanson? They were the three douche bags who sang that god awful “MMMbop” song that made you want to beat up a puppy every time you heard it. Well apparently they’re still alive and very angry with the world. That’s one of the brothers — Frank or Bobby I think — flipping off a paparazzo on Tuesday in Falls Church, Virginia. Damn, how much would it suck to get stuck covering the Hanson beat as a paparazzo? The rest of your friends are taking pictures of Jessica Alba and Kate Beckinsale and you’re stuck taking pictures of the adult Jonas Brothers. I’d rather be a maid for Rosie O’Donnell. “Aw dammit, chocolate and gravy on the sheets again?!”

[Splash News]

Tori Spelling has a nice house

Tori Spelling’s new $2.5 million, 6,700 square foot house in Encino, CA

NOTE: “. . . is better than you” is a Friday feature showcasing multi-million dollar celebrity homes in the hopes of generating feelings of jealousy, hatred, and animosity towards said celebrity. When you get down to the entertainment-dollar-spending core of it, you helped buy that home. Sucker!

[Real Estalker]

Tommy Lee and a “friend” in Beverly Hills (10/28)

Of all the blonde chicks with big boobs in L.A., how many do you think Tommy Lee has banged? My guess is 15-18  . . . last weekend.

[Pacific Coast News]

Dannii Minogue

Dannii Minogue at the 2008 National Television Awards in London (10/29)

[WENN, Flynet]

Wait…the word douchebag just doesn’t cut how fucking incredibly awful this human is.

This guy, William Balfour is a convicted felon who is the prime suspect in murdering Jennifer Hudson’s mother, brother and nephew.

You want to know how old her nephew was? 7 years old. Seven fucking years old. Let me repeat that in caps: SEVEN YEARS OLD. Who kills a child? An adult can threat, an adult can hurt someone- but a child?

Anyways, Willie over here declined taking a polygraph test and has not been cooperating with the cops. To me, he might as well have a tattoo saying ” Murderer” on his forehead. If this bitch is the dude who killed Hudson’s family, I wish the worst for him.

HURRY! Parents! Hide you’re kids.

The Jackson 5 is coming to town. We are all screwed! ( Well, all meaning little boys). So Jermaine Jackson told the Australian Associated press that they will be reuniting and it will be ” just like old times.” Scary. Mike isn’t confirming any of the news yet.

Jeez, this was a great halloween gift for all of us!

I suppose there are auditions for the Ghost Of Christmas Future…and Katie Holmes is living the part.

I’m not sure what she’s wearing exactly..but I think Tom Cruise is attempting to make her look more like him or maybe she’s turning into a vampire. Either story is convinciving. But seriously, whats the bitch doing? Put some flippin’ bronzer on girl. Damn you need the skin to kiss your dry pale skin.

Perhaps some Vaseline?

Hell yes.

David Beckham is all man and he wants all woman! Sorry blondies…he’s keeping his eye on the brunettes. Hells yeah! Anyways, Beckham was at a Lakers game, probably enjoying the last smell of hot dogs before he goes back to the U.K. Soccer season is over over here! ( over, over here..that sounded odd).

We’ll miss you Bex!

These celebrities were born on October 31:

Vanilla Ice is 40.
Rob Schneider is 44.
Infanta Leonor of Spain is 3.
Eddie Kaye Thomas is 27.
Zachary Knighton is 30.

Suzanne Somers may be the world’s first GILF

I would still do Suzanne Somers. I mean, just look at her. She’s 62 damn years old. That’s not a typo. 6-2. And it’s not like these pics were taken in the 80s. They were taken last month in Hollywood. Holy shit. How must Tara Reid feel after seeing these pics? In car terms, Suzanne’s a ‘64 Ferrari 275 GTB that’s been garaged the past 20 years and Tara’s a ‘02 Ford Escort rental car with 700,000 miles on it and a leaky radiator.

[WENN]

NSFW!

Don’t click the picture. Just trust me dude, don’t click the picture.

(more…)

Jessica Alba bikini pics!

Jessica Alba in Los Cabos, Mexico (Aug. ‘06)

NOTE: 24 more Jessica Alba bikini pics on PAGE 2 (CLICK HERE)

CLICK HERE to jump to 24 more Jessica Alba bikini pics on PAGE 2

Joe Francis slams Samantha Ronson on the Tyra Banks Show

Is there anyone in Hollywood — without the last name Ronson — that actually likes Samantha Ronson? Certainly not Girls Gone Wild founder Joe Francis. He blasted Ronson on the Tyra Banks Show earlier this week, calling her a “wretched woman.” Recap via PopEater:

During the episode, Francis calls Ronson “very jealous. Samantha tried to start a fight with me. I care about Lindsay - she’s not gay. She’s being controlled by this . . . wretched woman, this Samantha.”

The feud began during the VMA party on Sept. 7 when Francis approached Lohan and Ronson’s table. Ronson recalls the evening, “He said hello to Lindsay and looked over at me as if I wasn’t a human being. He’s got no manners.” Lohan blogged on her MySpace a few weeks ago about the on-going feud. “Joe Francis has no place in saying anything about Samantha . . . especially after all the shit he has done.” (Source)

Ah, true love. There’s nothing like a Shakespearean tragedy ghostwritten by Jerry Springer to make me feel alive. In one corner you have the most famous pervert in the world, the man most responsible for squashing the Playboy empire and, unbelievably, lower the bar of human behavior at spring break with the power of his mighty video cam and free t-shirt. In the other corner, you have a woman who looks like Gollum with a more powerful tongue and thicker fingers. Let us not forget the object of their “affection” is a confused attention whore stuck in the middle of this shit sandwich. A reprehensible waste of skin but undoubtedly a great lay. There’s gonna be an epic battle for the domination of that firecrotch, and decisions will need to be made. Who will it be? The bull dyke who spins records and can suck start a wave-maker? Or will it be the guy who’s only accomplishment is getting paid for saying “take your top off” on camera to 14-year-olds. True love.

[WENN]

Justin Gaston with Miley and Billy Ray Cyrus in Hollywood (10/26)

Miley Cyrus’ parents are privately worried that their 15-year-old daughter will end up pregnant like Jamie Lynn Spears. Both Tish and Billy Ray Cyrus were shocked when Miley recently admitted to Ryan Seacrest on his radio show that, regarding her relationship with 20-year-old underwear model/child predator Justin Gaston, “our families are like, ‘Whatever happens, happens.’ “From Star magazine:

Star exclusively reported in March that Tish had a secret heart-to-heart talk with Lynne Spears during which Lynne said how she dealt with the problems caused by Jamie Lynn and Britney. And following a recent awkward moment when Billy Ray discovered Miley — who does not turn 16 until Nov. 23 — making out with Justin, her parents have raised the spectre of Jamie Lynn’s fall from grace after she got pregnant last year.

“Tish and Billy Ray told Miley, one bad decision and she could forget the showbiz glamour — she’d have to be home feeding the baby, changing diapers and living the life of a teen mom,” reveals an insider. (Source)

It must be hard to discipline your teen daughter when she’s the breadwinner in the family. At this point Miley could probably have sex ON Billy Ray Cyrus and he won’t be able to say or do a damn about it, unless it’s to give Gaston tips on what turns her on (sugar cubes, in case you’re wondering). I have two suggestions for Billy Ray: First, unless you want to get the Lynne Spears treatment, you’ll shut your mouth and ride that gravy train for all it’s worth. Second, stop calling yourself “Billy Ray.” You’re a grown man, for goodness’ sakes. How about William, or Bill? Dumb-ass.

[Flynet]

Rachel Bilson walking her dog at Griffith Park in L.A. (10/29)

+ Cheryl Tweedy is one of the hottest girls alive [Drunken Stepfather]

+ Abigail Clancy is also one of the hottest girls alive [Hollywood Tuna]
+ Danielle Lloyd looks like hell [Bastardly]
+ Olivia Munn on Olivia Munn in a Bikini [Egotastic!]
+ Maria Menounos is perfect yet again [Popoholic]
+ Wait a minute . . . there’s a beer magazine!?! [I’m Not Obsessed]

+ Someone is actually marrying Corey Haim [Dlisted]
+ Kevin Smith: An X-Rated Primer [College Humor]
+ Mariah Carey debating sexy costume ideas [A Socialite’s Life]
+ Kat Von D is see through [Lossip]

+ Meet Gwen Stefani’s new baby [Yeeeah!]
+ Britney Spears’ cameltoe of the future [CityRag]
+ Janice Dickinson went down a hole [popbytes]
+ Celine Dion wants her husband to stop using condoms [Gabby Babble]

[Pacific Coast News]

“Wait . . . you’re from L.A. and you speak with a British accent? HA HA HA HA HA!!!”

Can you beat my caption?

This week’s caption contest being sponsored by the PBS food and travel series Spain . . . on the road Again. The show features Chef Mario Batali, actress Gwyneth Paltrow, New York Times food writer Mark Bittman, and Spanish actress Claudia Bassols. Each episode covers a different region of Spain as the foursome explore the country’s culinary traditions and history. Check out the show’s website HERE.

Winner, decided by me and posted next week, to receive an autographed copy of Batali’s new book Spain: A Culinary Road Trip

Natalia Cigliuti

American actress Natalia Cigliuti

CLICK HERE to jump to 22 more Natalia Cigliuti pics on PAGE 2

New Bond girl Olga Kurylenko at the premiere of Quantum of Solace in London (10/29)

+ Beyonce may have hired a drag queen to dance alongside her in her new video [Just Jared]

+ British socialite Aisleyne Horgan Wallace slips a nip (semi-NSFW) [Drunken Stepfather]
+ Vikki Blows Topless Calendar Pictures [Egotastic!]
+ Rihanna is really into the S&M [F-Listed]
+ Bond Girl Carole Bouquet is topless (NSFW) [TaxiDriverMovie]

+ Blake Lively dressed like a sexy schoolgirl [Popoholic]
+ Colin Farrell banged this Playmate [Holy Taco]
+ Surprise, surprise, Suge Knight due back in court [Bossip]
+ Nicollette Sheridan has a nice trip in London [Seriously? OMG! WTF?]

[WENN, BauerGriffinOnline]

Hayden Panettiere at Rumor boutique in Sherman Oaks (10/29)

Hayden Panettiere was seen yesterday sporting a new tattoo on her back. It’s partially obscured but you can make out the first word “vivere,” which means “to live” in Italian. Oh oh, I know, let’s guess the second word. My guess is “clabibajiba,” which means “like a midget with pecs instead of breasts” in Swahili.

[Pacific Coast News]

Michael Jackson’s kids in Hollywood (10/29)

They’re Michael Jackson’s. Bauer-Griffin says they were trick-or-treating in Hollywood last night but I’m pretty that’s not the case since Halloween isn’t until Friday. They’re wearing freaky-looking masks because that’s their thing. That’s what they do. And why not when Michael Jackson is your dad? I hate to spoil the mood here, but can we put some police surveillance on these kids right now? I’m pretty at least one of the them is gonna turn into a serial killer. Eventually those masks are gonna be actual human faces. Saw XII, the prequel to the prequel, is gonna be two hours of their home movies.

[BauerGriffinOnline]

Carrie Underwood thinks Jessica Simpson is “top heavy”

Remember last month when Carrie Underwood allegedly called the “fatter-looking” Jessica Simpson “desperate” for attention? Well it turns Tony Romo’s former and current girlfriends still hate each other. Though Carrie said she was “all for” Jessica’s new country music career because it would bring more recognition to the genre, she’s still talking shit about her in private. A friend of the former American Idol winner told Life & Style Weekly:

“Carrie agrees that Jess is attractive but says she wouldn’t want to be as ‘buxom and top-heavy.’” (Source)

Wait a minute, did Carrie Underwood just criticize Jessica Simpson for having big tits? You know what, I tolerate a lot of things on this site — heightism, sexism, bigotry, racism, caste discrimination, ableism, homophobia, linguicism, nepotism, xenophobia, weightism, ageism, sexual harassment, biphobia,  reverse discrimination, speciesism, heterophobia, and religious intolerance — but criticizing big tits is something I simply will not stand for that. I bid you good day Carrie *storms out of room*

[WENN]

Elle Macpherson

Elle Macpherson at the premiere of Quantum of Solace at the Odeon Cinema in London (10/29)

[BauerGriffinOnline, WENN]